Billie Eilish recently opened up about her desire to become a mother.
During a recent interview with the British newspaper The Times, Eilish said she would “rather die” than not have children, adding, “I need them.”
This is not the first time Eilish has spoken out about her desire to be a parent. Just last year, she revealed that she’s pretty set on having a huge family of her own. “I want to have kids and I want those kids to have kids,” she told Vanity Fair in January 2021.
However, she also The Times, that she “dreads” the challenges of parenthood.
“The older I get, the more I experience things, I just think, uuggh, what am I going to do when my kid thinks that this is the right thing to do and I’m, like, no, it’s not! And they won’t listen to me,” she said.
“…I definitely find my mom annoying but that’s because she’s my mom and everyone’s mom is annoying. But I love her, she is like a book, she knows everything, and I’m so grateful because I don’t know s-t about s-t.”
Going on to reflect on her own childhood, Billie opened up about her debilitating separation anxiety, when she didn’t want to be away from her parents at all.
“I was worried about what would happen to them, I was worried about what would happen to me, I was worried about being forgotten.”
In fact, things were so tough for Billie that she wound up sharing a bed with her parents and elder brother, Finneas O’Connell, for years of her childhood. The Sunday Times notes that the “whole family shared a bed until Finneas was ten,” and Billie stayed “with her parents until she was 11.”
“I couldn’t sleep by myself,” Billie said. “If I woke up and my parents weren’t in the bed and the lights were off, I would scream until they came to the door. And I couldn’t step off the bed in the dark because I was certain that there were scorpions crawling all over the floor.”
Issues with sleep have carried on into her adulthood, and Billie describes sleep as “a serious form of torture”, pointing out that she experiences sleep paralysis and that for a period of time in 2018, “every dream was a terrible nightmare”.